ARE YOU A

Narcissist! Or Not?

Tools For Helping Men

Transform Hurtful Accusations

Into Lasting Love & Trust

“Why does she keep saying I only care about myself? I’m doing everything I can to make sure we’re okay—doesn’t she see that?”

Meet Ethan… “The Fragile Big Shot”

Ethan leaned back in his chair, swirling the ice in his glass as Lisa cleared the dinner table. He had just finished recounting his latest success at work—a high-stakes deal he’d closed that day—and was waiting for her to say something. Anything.

Instead, she kept stacking plates, her silence grating on him.

“Did you even hear what I said?” he asked, his voice sharper than he intended.

Lisa glanced up, a dish towel in her hand. “Yes, Ethan. You closed the deal. That’s great.”

Great? That was it? No “Wow, Ethan, you’re amazing” or “You always come through when it counts”? Just a flat, obligatory “great”?

“It wasn’t just any deal,” Ethan pressed, his tone tight. “It was the biggest account we’ve landed this year. It’s going to put us ahead of the competition by miles.”

Lisa nodded, but her eyes had already drifted back to the table. Ethan felt the familiar burn of frustration in his chest. Why couldn’t she see how important this was?

“You know,” he continued, “most people would kill for what I just pulled off today. It’s the kind of thing that sets a company apart.”

“I know, Ethan,” Lisa replied, her voice steady but devoid of enthusiasm. “You’re good at what you do. You always have been.”

There it was again: the bland, obligatory acknowledgment. Ethan felt a pang of resentment. He wasn’t asking for much—just a little more appreciation, a little more recognition for everything he did.

It wasn’t just work, either. He made most of the big decisions for their family, kept the household finances on track, and even planned their vacations. Sure, Lisa contributed here and there, but let’s face it—he was the one steering the ship. And yet, when he tried to explain things or take the lead, she acted like he was overbearing.

“Why do I feel like I’m doing all the heavy lifting around here?” he muttered, more to himself than to Lisa.

Lisa paused mid-step, turning to look at him. “Heavy lifting?” she asked, her brow furrowing. “Ethan, do you even hear yourself? You don’t let me do anything. You decide what we’re doing before I even have a chance to weigh in.”

“That’s because I know what works,” Ethan shot back. “I’m just trying to make sure things don’t fall apart. Someone has to keep us on track.”

Lisa let out a small, tired laugh—the kind that wasn’t really laughter at all. “You’re not keeping us on track, Ethan. You’re just keeping me out of the loop. And then you get mad when I don’t shower you with praise for it.”

Ethan bristled. “That’s not fair. I’m trying to make things easier for both of us. I don’t need praise—I just need you to acknowledge how much I do around here.”

Lisa’s expression softened, but not in a way that comforted him. It was the kind of softness that came from resignation. “Ethan, I do see what you do. But you don’t see me. And honestly, I’m tired of trying to get you to.”

Ethan opened his mouth to reply, but the words caught in his throat. Lisa picked up the last plate and disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him alone at the table, the ice in his glass melting.

For a moment, he stared into the amber liquid, a flicker of doubt creeping in. Did she have a point? He didn’t think of himself as overbearing—just confident. Decisive. The guy who got things done. But when he thought back to the way Lisa had looked at him, a tiny voice in his mind whispered something uncomfortable:

Maybe she’s right. Maybe I don’t leave her any room to speak. Maybe I do need her to validate me more than I realized.

He shook his head, brushing the thought aside. He was just doing what needed to be done. If Lisa couldn’t see that, wasn’t that her problem?

And yet, as he sat there in the quiet, he couldn’t ignore the sinking feeling that something was slipping away between them—and that he might be the reason why.

Why Does Your Wife Think You’re a Grandiose Narcissist?

Is your wife or partner accusing you of being a grandiose narcissist? You might feel like you’re just being assertive or trying to keep things together, but she interprets your behavior as overbearing, self-centered, or dismissive. Grandiose narcissism often comes up when a man’s actions seem overly confident, controlling, or dominating. However, what’s often misunderstood is that these behaviors are frequently driven by deep insecurities—particularly, the fear of not being enough.

You might believe you’re the backbone of the relationship, the one who makes the tough decisions and holds things together, but underneath, you may feel unappreciated or taken for granted. This can lead to actions that come across as controlling or demanding recognition. From her perspective, your need to be in charge or to get credit for your efforts may feel suffocating. She may interpret it as arrogance or an inability to listen to her opinions, which pushes her away rather than bringing you closer.

The truth is, grandiose narcissism isn’t about loving yourself too much—it’s about covering up deep feelings of insecurity. You might be overcompensating for fears of not being valued, which drives you to seek admiration and control in the relationship. You may not realize it, but this need for recognition and validation can create emotional distance and make your partner feel unheard or undervalued.

So, what can you do to break this cycle? The first step is recognizing that your grandiose behaviors come from insecurity, not genuine confidence. By addressing the fear of not being enough and learning to share control and recognition in a healthy way, you can transform your relationship dynamics. Open communication and emotional vulnerability are the keys to moving from grandiosity to grounded confidence.

In the Narcissist, or Not? course, we’ll help you understand how your grandiose behaviors are affecting your relationship and teach you practical strategies to stop seeking constant validation and start building real emotional strength. You can shift from overcompensating and demanding to being the strong, grounded partner your relationship needs.

Ready to stop the cycle of needing constant recognition?

Take our assessment to find out if your behaviors align with grandiose narcissism. Learn what’s driving these behaviors and discover how to rebuild connection and trust with your partner.

Next Steps:

• Buy the Book – Explore the root causes of vulnerable behaviors and learn how to develop emotional resilience.
• Get the Workbook – Practical exercises to help you stop seeking constant validation and become emotionally stronger.
• Take the Course – Work with Sven and Steve to break the cycle of insecurity and create a more balanced, connected relationship.

Does Your Behavior Make You Look Like a Grandiose Narcissist?

Is your wife or partner accusing you of being a grandiose narcissist? Men who display grandiose narcissism often come across as overly confident, seeking admiration and recognition. You may think you’re just being assertive, but she might see your behavior as self-centered or dismissive of her feelings. Take this assessment to find out how much your behaviors resemble grandiose narcissism and learn what steps you can take to rebuild emotional connection.

Take Our FREE “Why Does My Wife Think I’m a Grandiose Narcissist?” Test

This test only takes 1-3 minutes to complete and is designed to help you understand how your actions may look like grandiose narcissism to your wife or partner.

Would you prefer to take our FREE, all-inclusive Test? Click Here

See how your behaviors may appear similar to eight forms of narcissism (including grandiose) in this 90-question, comprehensive test. 

Disclaimer:

We want to remind you that we are not mental health professionals; this is not a diagnosis, and the information below is not offered as medical or mental health guidance. The insights and assessments are intended to help you understand why your partner may be seeing some of your behaviors as narcissistic and identifying or accusing you of being a narcissist. These assessments are for personal reflection and growth—not for clinical evaluation.

Here’s What You Might Be Feeling, Saying, and Doing:

Feelings of a Grandiosely Insecure Man:

• Unappreciated, like your efforts aren’t recognized
• Frustrated that your sacrifices go unnoticed
• A need to prove you’re capable and superior

What You Might Be Saying:

• “You never appreciate all the sacrifices I make!”
• “Why do I always have to be the one to fix everything?”
• “I’m tired of you not giving me the credit I deserve!”

What You Might Be Doing:

• Taking control of decisions without consulting your partner
• Monopolizing conversations by focusing on your achievements
• Expecting constant praise and validation

Here’s How Your Partner Might Be Feeling, Saying, and Responding:

Feelings of a Woman in a Relationship with a Grandiosely Insecure Man:

• Unheard and undervalued
• Resentful of your need for control
• Emotionally exhausted from trying to meet your expectations

What She Might Be Saying:

• “Why don’t you ever ask for my opinion?”
• “You make everything about you.”
• “Do you even care about what I think?”

What She Might Be Doing:

• Withdrawing emotionally
• Stopping her input in decision-making
• Avoiding conflict to keep the peace

It’s time to break the cycle. By understanding that what you’ve been labeled as—grandiose or arrogant—is rooted in deep insecurity, you can start to address the real problem. You don’t have to live in constant frustration, trying to prove your worth. Instead, you can learn how to step into real emotional resilience, create balance in your relationship, and earn the respect and connection you’ve been longing for.

Take the next step. We’re here to guide you through understanding what’s beneath the surface, helping you transform your behavior from insecurity-driven reactions to intentional, confident actions. It’s not about becoming less of a man—it’s about becoming the strong, grounded, and connected man you know you can be.

Ready to Take the Next Step Toward Transformation?

Whether you’re looking to dive deeper, get hands-on tools, or begin a guided journey, we’ve got you covered. Explore our book, workbook, and course to start changing the way you show up in your relationship and break free from the cycle of grandiose insecurity.