ARE YOU A

Narcissist! Or Not?

Tools For Helping Men

Transform Hurtful Accusations

Into Lasting Love & Trust

“Why does she say I’m being cruel or controlling when I’m just trying to keep things under control?”

Meet James … The “Power Tripper”

James leaned against the kitchen counter, watching Sarah load the dishwasher with quick, forceful movements. Her silence filled the room, heavy and pointed, like a storm building on the horizon. He took a slow sip of his drink, the edge of irritation creeping into his chest.

“Are you planning to talk about whatever’s making you slam those plates around,” he said, his voice calm but calculated, “or should I just guess?”

Sarah froze for a moment, then set a glass into the rack with a deliberate gentleness. “I’m not slamming anything. And there’s nothing to talk about.”

James chuckled under his breath, a low, dismissive sound. “Right. Because stomping around the kitchen like this is normal.”

She turned to face him, her arms crossing tightly over her chest. “James, do you always have to make everything about how I’m doing something wrong? Can’t you just let me be upset without turning it into a thing?”

“Upset?” James raised an eyebrow. “If you’re upset, then say it. Don’t make me play twenty questions to figure out what’s going on in your head.”

“Fine,” Sarah snapped, her voice trembling slightly. “I’m upset because you make me feel like I’m not even allowed to have an opinion. Everything has to be your way. Every decision, every conversation—it’s all about you being in control.”

James took a slow step toward her, his posture tightening. “Control? Is that what you think I’m doing? Trying to control you? That’s rich, Sarah. You have no idea how lucky you are to have someone who actually gives a damn about making this family work.”

“Lucky?” Sarah’s voice rose, her eyes narrowing. “How is it lucky to feel like I’m constantly being silenced? Do you even hear yourself? I don’t feel safe with you when you get like this!”

James’s face hardened, his jaw tightening. “Safe? Are you serious right now? I’m the one who keeps this house running. I’m the one who makes sure everything is okay. If you don’t feel safe, that’s on you, not me.”

“On me?” Sarah’s voice cracked as she stepped back. “You dismiss my feelings, talk down to me, and then act like I’m the problem. How is that on me?”

“Because you’re the one blowing everything out of proportion,” James shot back, his tone cold. “I’m not dismissing you—I’m being realistic. Maybe you don’t like hearing it, but the truth is, you wouldn’t last a day doing what I do. Do you even know how many men out there would have walked away by now? You should think about that the next time you want to accuse me of being cruel.”

Sarah’s hands trembled as she gripped the edge of the counter. “This isn’t about what other men would do, James. This is about how you treat me. You make me feel like nothing I say matters. Like I’m just here to follow orders.”

James scoffed, shaking his head. “Follow orders? That’s dramatic, even for you. I make decisions because someone has to. God forbid you ever step up and do it. You think you deserve better than me? You’re kidding yourself.”

Her lips parted, as though to say something, but no words came. Instead, she shook her head, grabbing her phone from the counter and walking out of the room.

James stayed where he was, his hands gripping the edge of the counter now. His chest tightened as her words replayed in his mind, but he quickly shoved the feeling away. He wasn’t wrong—he was just doing what needed to be done.

Why Does Your Wife Think You’re a Malignant Narcissist?

Is your wife or partner accusing you of being a malignant narcissist? You may feel like you’re just trying to maintain control or keep things on track, but she sees your behavior as cold, manipulative, and power-hungry. Malignant narcissism often arises when a man’s deep-seated insecurities drive him to dominate, manipulate, or control his partner. What’s often misunderstood is that these behaviors come from a fear of losing control, not from an innate desire to harm or exploit.

You might believe that maintaining control is essential to protecting the relationship, especially when you feel disrespected or threatened. But instead of resolving conflicts, your actions can escalate situations into power struggles, where the goal shifts from understanding each other to simply “winning.” Your partner may interpret your need for control as ruthless or uncaring, leaving her feeling intimidated, fearful, and emotionally disconnected.

The truth is, malignant behaviors often stem from a need to feel secure in the relationship by controlling outcomes and emotions. You may think you’re doing what’s best for both of you, but this approach creates emotional walls and destroys trust. Your partner likely feels manipulated, worn down, and anxious in the face of this behavior, unable to voice her concerns without fear of retaliation. Over time, these dynamics can erode the emotional safety in your relationship, leaving both partners feeling isolated and defeated.

So how do you break the cycle of control? The first step is recognizing that your need for dominance is rooted in insecurity, not strength. Real power in a relationship comes from trust, empathy, and mutual understanding—not from forcing your partner into submission. By addressing the fears that drive your need for control, you can begin to build a more balanced and collaborative partnership, where both of you feel heard, respected, and connected.

In the Narcissist, or Not? course, we’ll guide you through understanding the root cause of control-driven behaviors and show you how to shift from manipulation to emotional strength. You can stop playing power games and start fostering real intimacy through trust and empathy.

Ready to break free from the need to control?

Take our assessment to find out if your behaviors align with malignant narcissism. Learn how to rebuild emotional safety and create a partnership based on mutual respect and trust.

Next Steps:

• Buy the Book – Explore the root causes of vulnerable behaviors and learn how to develop emotional resilience.
• Get the Workbook – Practical exercises to help you stop seeking constant validation and become emotionally stronger.
• Take the Course – Work with Sven and Steve to break the cycle of insecurity and create a more balanced, connected relationship.

Does Your Behavior Make You Look Like a Malignant Narcissist?

Is your wife or partner accusing you of being a malignant narcissist? Men who display malignant narcissism often come across as controlling, manipulative, or power-hungry. You may feel like you’re just trying to protect the relationship and maintain control, but she may see your behavior as cold, domineering, and harmful. Take this assessment to find out how much your behaviors resemble malignant narcissism and learn what steps you can take to rebuild emotional safety and connection.

Take Our FREE “Why Does My Wife Think I’m a Malignant Narcissist?” Test

Learn how your behaviors may look like malignant narcissism to your wife or partner.

Would you prefer to take our FREE, all-inclusive Test? Click Here

See how your behaviors may appear similar to eight forms of narcissism (including malignant) in this 90-question, comprehensive test.

Disclaimer:

We want to remind you that we are not mental health professionals; this is not a diagnosis, and the information below is not offered as medical or mental health guidance. The insights and assessments are intended to help you understand why your partner may be seeing some of your behaviors as narcissistic and identifying or accusing you of being a narcissist. These assessments are for personal reflection and growth—not for clinical evaluation.

Here’s What You Might Be Feeling, Saying, and Doing:

Feelings of a Control-Insecure Man:

• Threatened or disrespected in conflicts
• A strong need to dominate or control the situation
• Justified in feelings of anger or frustration

What You Might Be Saying:

• “You’re overreacting; it’s not that big of a deal.”
• “If you really loved me, you’d understand where I’m coming from.”
• “You’re too sensitive; you need to toughen up.”
• “Don’t push me, or you’ll regret it.”

What You Might Be Doing:

• Using manipulation or emotional blackmail to get your way
• Criticizing your partner harshly, even in public
• Bringing up her past mistakes during arguments

How Your Partner Might Be Feeling, Saying, and Responding:

Feelings of a Woman in a Relationship with a Control-Insecure Man:

• Intimidated and fearful in the relationship
• Trapped, anxious, and emotionally worn down
• Scared to communicate openly for fear of retaliation

What She Might Be Saying:

• “I’m scared to even talk to you.”
• “I can’t do anything right.”
• “Why are you being so cruel?”

What She Might Be Doing:

• Becoming compliant or submissive to avoid conflict
• Isolating herself to avoid confrontation
• Seeking emotional support outside the relationship

By recognizing that your controlling behaviors come from insecurity, you can stop engaging in power struggles and begin building trust and empathy in your relationship. True strength lies not in domination, but in creating emotional safety and respect for both partners.

Ready to Take the Next Step Toward Transformation?

Whether you’re looking to dive deeper, get hands-on tools, or begin a guided journey, we’ve got you covered. Explore our book, workbook, and course to start changing the way you show up in your relationship and break free from the cycle of grandiose insecurity.